Saturday, May 25, 2013
WOODY ALLEN SPOTTED IN SAN FRANCISCO LOOKING ANXIETY RIDDEN!
by: Mike Spies
Over the weekend famed movie director Woody Allen was seen standing around in San Francisco. Onlookers said he looked surprisingly nervous and plagued by an overbearing fear of death. One witness claims that Woody was so tense that he had one of his assistants biting his nails for him. Allen was also said to have refused to throw away his trash at a local eatery. He was quoted as saying, "In California, they don't throw away their garbage - they make it into TV shows." It is rumored that Allen is in San Francisco working on his latest film, Annie Hall 2: The Rise of Duane. Allen purportedly wanted to film in San Francisco to follow in the traditions of movies like, I Married a Communist and Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco. Woody then told reporters that he was astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe as he was having trouble finding his way around SF's infamous Chinatown. Allen then hurried away mumbling something about his one regret in life.